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Angela gave the pamphlet a dubious once-over and shook her head.
“I’m just not sure, it seems very ominous.”
“Not at all!” The salesman’s expression was positively pained. “It’s the perfect security system for every home. It sees all, knows all, and for a small extra fee, it even comes with a set of Nazgul.”
“Hmm.” Angela pursed her lips, still undecided. It was a big commitment after all, and she had a feeling it would clash with her curtains. But still.
“I suppose that does sound rather good.” She admitted, ’But I have a limited budget, and there’s a man three stalls down from you who's offered me my very own ancient civilisation for just $5000.00. You can’t go wrong with a deal like that.”
“No, no, no. You’re being had, trust me. It seems like a good deal, but the headache is more trouble that it’s worth. All that micro-managing, and that’s not even mentioning the human sacrifices… Let me tell you, they sure as hell don’t put THOSE on the brochure. And sure, it’s a pretty distraction, but does that really compare to a device that will offer you peace of mind and allow you to feel safe again in your own home? I think not.”
Angela found herself nodding along to his sentiments, and sensing victory, the salesman flashed a glittering smile.
“I think you’ll also find that the projected sales figures are extremely promising. In fact we aim to have a flaming eye installed in every home within just ten years.”
“Oh my. That does sound rather impressive.’ Angela conceded. “But, I just have one little question.”
“Certainly.” The salesman leaned forward attentively.
“What happens if, you know, a burglar actually makes it past the system.”
The Salesman laughed. “Impossible madam, nothing escapes the All Seeing Eye.”
“Oh? Is it really that powerful?”
“Yes, yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“And what if, say,’ and at this Angela couldn’t help but smile secretively, ‘a small Hobbit were to come along and make off with my favorite ring.”
"What?! Er, no, we, er..." The Salesman gasped wetly like a fish for several seconds, then gave up.
"Who sent you?" He demanded.
“There, there, I wouldn't worry about it. Even the best security systems have their weak spots. ” And at this Angela smiled, and withdrew her Security Services Inspection badge from her handbag with a small flourish.
"Now, sir, if you don’t mind I'd appreciate it if you could wrap things up and get this show on the road, because we both know that what you're selling here isn't sanctioned. And uh, do try to hurry won't you. It's getting late, and I still have to go and see a man about some Phoenicians after this.”
“I’m just not sure, it seems very ominous.”
“Not at all!” The salesman’s expression was positively pained. “It’s the perfect security system for every home. It sees all, knows all, and for a small extra fee, it even comes with a set of Nazgul.”
“Hmm.” Angela pursed her lips, still undecided. It was a big commitment after all, and she had a feeling it would clash with her curtains. But still.
“I suppose that does sound rather good.” She admitted, ’But I have a limited budget, and there’s a man three stalls down from you who's offered me my very own ancient civilisation for just $5000.00. You can’t go wrong with a deal like that.”
“No, no, no. You’re being had, trust me. It seems like a good deal, but the headache is more trouble that it’s worth. All that micro-managing, and that’s not even mentioning the human sacrifices… Let me tell you, they sure as hell don’t put THOSE on the brochure. And sure, it’s a pretty distraction, but does that really compare to a device that will offer you peace of mind and allow you to feel safe again in your own home? I think not.”
Angela found herself nodding along to his sentiments, and sensing victory, the salesman flashed a glittering smile.
“I think you’ll also find that the projected sales figures are extremely promising. In fact we aim to have a flaming eye installed in every home within just ten years.”
“Oh my. That does sound rather impressive.’ Angela conceded. “But, I just have one little question.”
“Certainly.” The salesman leaned forward attentively.
“What happens if, you know, a burglar actually makes it past the system.”
The Salesman laughed. “Impossible madam, nothing escapes the All Seeing Eye.”
“Oh? Is it really that powerful?”
“Yes, yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“And what if, say,’ and at this Angela couldn’t help but smile secretively, ‘a small Hobbit were to come along and make off with my favorite ring.”
"What?! Er, no, we, er..." The Salesman gasped wetly like a fish for several seconds, then gave up.
"Who sent you?" He demanded.
“There, there, I wouldn't worry about it. Even the best security systems have their weak spots. ” And at this Angela smiled, and withdrew her Security Services Inspection badge from her handbag with a small flourish.
"Now, sir, if you don’t mind I'd appreciate it if you could wrap things up and get this show on the road, because we both know that what you're selling here isn't sanctioned. And uh, do try to hurry won't you. It's getting late, and I still have to go and see a man about some Phoenicians after this.”
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That's right folks, it's Flash-Fic-Month Day 3. Wordcount: 460. No challenge today, just some shenanigans and some very amusing prompts, but it looks like we're in for a real bruiser/treat tomorrow. 
I used two prompts today, namely:
I used two prompts today, namely:
- For the small price of $5000, you can own your very own ancient civilization! - The-Livewriter
- We aim to have a flaming eye installed in every home within ten years - joe-wright
This is, admittedly, one of the sillier examples of the many, many, very silly stories that I have written over the years. But hopefully it will at least prove somewhat amusing.
Take a squiz at the other entries for today over here: flash-fic-month.deviantart.com…
© 2015 - 2024 The-Inkling
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I love this---> “And what if, say,’ and at this Angela couldn’t help but smile secretively, ‘a small Hobbit were to come along and make off with my favorite ring.”"What?! Er, no, we, er..." The Salesman gasped wetly like a fish for several seconds, then gave up.
"Who sent you?" He demanded.
“There, there, I wouldn't worry about it. Even the best security systems have their weak spots. ” And at this Angela smiled, and withdrew her Security Services Inspection badge from her handbag with a small flourish.